oh yes somehow i think friendster is kinda odd yet highly amusing. oh. things that you think people can never get a way of finding out.

too many emotions. too ridiculous.

and it's just a recurring thought. it cannot leave. unless i can bear to pull away.

okay so maybe there were alot that went through my mind today. rides on the way to school has gotten me to think alot more. i still wonder what lies beneath what i saw. and yet i cannot decipher and the best i can do is sit back and guess all the time what you're thinking. and it never works cuz i never know if my guesses are eventually right.

remember cny last year? i got pissed and you tried to pacify things? well this year will be different. it'll be so different now that you're gone..

it's 1.56 am. i don't feel like sleeping. had a long day. wanna blog abt it but im lazy. but oh well.
ac celebrations.
then it was back to sc.
caught up w many many others.
awesome feeling to see them again.
den it was down to town to meet cheryl, char and the 2 cj guys.
char left after a while.
partyworld ktv.
madness! who goes to partyworld? sleazy man!
laughed like mad at the guys who sang all the chinese songs that we had no clue existed.
f21 for my new year top.
walked around. met some others.
felt like shit and yet secretly happier meeting people for some reason.
cheryl and cj people had to leave.
met up w my sister.
collected jeans and shopping for cny heels.
den it was homebound.
bathed and then it was down to the party.
party was honestly boring.
back home at 12.
and here i am.
okay im out.

i never stray too far from the sidewalk.
because of you.

okay nothing much to blog about. okay maybe i shld just say what i did in sch today. lit today wasn't too bad. i like lit cuz it's so indepth-like with loads of thoughts to decipher! cafe after that w the rest of the class! talked shit there, about shrek, about math, econs, and the twin lying! oh and chinese has never been so fun! the guys just talk crapp abt chinese. like the laoshi said like to name chengyus w the word gou (dog in chi) and they said go away! omg freaking lame!

okay nothing much. im kinda sleepy. im outt.

my heart can't possibly break.
when it wasn't even whole to start with.

okay i think my class is fun. not too bad. the girls are really nice. but haven't actually mingled much w the guys yet but it'll take time i guess.

sometimes i think i see things in a different light from people, and for that i react differently to situations which really makes me wonder if i should just join the crowd and go with the flow.

okay i think mugging should start soon. cuz im completely lost at econs, math, lit and hist. okay that's basically all my subjects. this is not good.

i think lit's fun. the text that we're doing has so much depth to it.

okay i guess that's enough on the academic side.

i think things ain't that bad.

chasing the impossible. someone find me a substitute.

i think it's a night of too many thoughts. im outt.

because i din know what else to say. so i said hi.

i think i've been going out far too much from what my parents expect. friday was not too bad. returned to sc w the intention of watching prefects invest, but in the end i ended up returning to ac again before heading to town. reenactment of the heartbreak scene to mox and tang. i tink i hafta get over it! :( dinner at dingtaifung. weiting's lame game with the peanuts, cheryl's not-very-funny jokes and mox's teasings, along with the white rice and unfinished xiaolong baos. let's do it again! (:

saturday was definitely good. it was down to ulu nanyang jc at serangoon to support my juniors for the talentine comps. okay we din win, some people just twist the facts to suit what they want, what's new? i guess everyone was pretty much very heated over that. but i managed to catch up w sinwen, haven't seen her in eons, ever since we went to queensway to get sch shoes. i dunno why but we always have a lot of things to laugh about, as in genuinely funny things. i hope i can make it for movie on tues w her and her little secret person. haha! can hardly wait! i hope there isn't piano or anything! :S

i've got swim pe next week. omggg. i haven't swam in like ages. last time i did was like last year. and i had legs cramps after that. scary shit.

oh the viewing of the funny photo. at least i know you're happy over there.

i tink my parents seriously think that there's some kind of weird stuff going on, esp w all the outings, computer usage and hardly spending time at home. ooh goshhh. they should know better, that i really am more sensible than that to get attached.

k im out.

i find it weird and yet strangely amusing that a guy who may seem all poser-like in school, actually keeps a blog and writes down his inner most thoughts. it's a contrast to what we perceive him to be. but then again, appearances are deceiving.

i am honestly, freaked out by someone. the strange behaviour that people have..

i slept from 7 till 11. crazy shit. only thing is i prob can't get to sleep now. darn. maybe i should go catch the 9oclock repeat on ch55 and sleep at 2am.

my heart still feels like it's unable to pull away. maybe if i still had the chance to, i would put down everything that i own and run to you regardless of the circumstances. but i know that even if that happens, you would rather turn and walk away then embrace it. but then again i really am happy seeing that you are happy.

the thing i really like about jaychou songs is that it speaks right to your heart. like qingtian. i like the guitar part at the beginning.

okay im outt. i haf loads on my mind. but somehow words just can't express it down.

this is the earliest that i've gotten home from school. pretty amazing. these few days have been pretty much boring. lectures and just sitting around the voiddeck/cafe. got to know hannah and cherilyn better these few days. and a whole lot of other random people that i meet on the way. i guess it's good.

RANDOM:
i just thought of how we randomly met the losers that day. was rather hilarious how people can just walk off like they were ashamed of something. i wanted to too at first, but i was like, wth, we haven't done anything wrong. oh wells i dunno why i suddenly thought abt that.

anyway it's weird. no cca cuz hockey hasn't actually started.

it's even weirder to see that person in school. i don't think so much about things anymore, but sometimes the distant memory comes back. and then suddenly im at a loss again.

i keep thinking, if you don't care, then why should i? but ultimately at the end of the day, i care. and in doing so, i feel mentally and emotionally weaker.

many times i feel so tired of holding out this long. maybe i should just leave things to how you want it to turn out to be.

was supposed to meet my sister in town today but she cancelled on me and dear cheryl happened to be around town so i met her. and then after that we were standing outside the train station and talking and talking then suddenly someone called me and den i turned and saw ng minxin! omgg!!! i haven't seen her like in ages la! okay we only stayed for a few mins talking then she and cheryl went back but even then just seeing her for that few mins really honestly made my day! ((:

okay so anyway we reenacted the heartbreak scene at wisma today! haha it was thankfully more hilarious than depressing. so i guess that's good.

tmr's classes. i hope i get nice people! :S okay gtg.

i got a pretty grey skirt from topshop today! it was quite ex, but then again i only buy skirts once a year during new year! well the skirt's kinda like a bit big, but i really liked the design and the belt that comes with it so i decided to get it in the end! but coming to think of it it's a bit short, hope my mum allows me to wear it for cny!

anyway mox i dunno how to get the tagboard working cuz everytime i get it, it goes haywired. hehe so i decided to makedo without it.

sometimes i think i mistake what i think for what i feel. in a way i get my emotions mixed up. maybe i should try to rationalise and sieve out things.

so maybe whatever happens now doesn't matter so much to you. and so maybe whatever happens to you shouldn't matter so much to me? it's like a transistion phase that i go through now and then, and there's always a point of time where i get really tired.

i got a pretty grey skirt from topshop today! it was quite ex, but then again i only buy skirts once a year during new year! well the skirt's kinda like a bit big, but i really liked the design and the belt that comes with it so i decided to get it in the end! but coming to think of it it's a bit short, hope my mum allows me to wear it for cny!

anyway mox i dunno how to get the tagboard working cuz everytime i get it, it goes haywired. hehe so i decided to makedo without it.

sometimes i think i mistake what i think for what i feel. in a way i get my emotions mixed up. maybe i should try to rationalise and sieve out things.

so maybe whatever happens now doesn't matter so much to you. and so maybe whatever happens to you shouldn't matter so much to me? it's like a transistion phase that i go through now and then, and there's always a point of time where i get really tired.

today was fun! okay the first like, 6 hours of school was boring. subject registration, one hour recess, health talk which was really boring, and followed by height and weight. i realised that i've lost like 2 kg, but i dunno why i still look and feel like i am fatter.

so after school, was kinda debating between og outing and joining eli and some others in going back to school. so finally i decided to join eli since i tot she might need to go collect her shoes from bedok. so anyway followed the guys back to acsi, and we saw a lot of the IB people there. like dil, laura, fuiyi, natasha. talked to dil and laura for a while and loadsa comments about the ib programme. doesn't seem like a very superb or prestigious as what they deemed it to be. after that eli jocelyn and i were supposed to go back to sc to see teachers and all that so we said bye to the guys and they offered to walk us out. and then i guess we procrastinated in going back, we ended up sneaking into one of the IB lectures. i honestly tried to comprehend what they were discussing during lectures but i just couldn't keep up with it. something about bombs and what not.

but the thrill in sneaking into lectures and waving to friends died down and then suddenly the whole idea of going back to sc just disappeared and we sat around the benches deciding what to do/where to go. we got into this whole stoning mode and then everyone then ended up plugging the ipod and sleeping. i think it was only like 5 plus that we decided to finally move our asses to get a drink. then on the way back we saw this funny place, it kinda looked like it had a funny hill, pretty much an image of how a landslide would look like and it was pretty dim and scary although it was only like 5 oclock and the skies were really not dark. so we took a little adventure, where we climbed through that narrow passage way and had to use our handphone lights to see the way and then when we finally got out of the musty place, we found ourselves at the construction site of the ib school. it was honestly damn scary la, like we were walking in open area of construction site, without any helmets and there was a large crane moving stuff and the ground we were walking on was like rocky, uneven and muddy. but thank God we finally found our way out safely after asking some of the construction people.

the guys den suggested going to eat the hostel food. but the hod was there so we couldn't really do so. i think it's quite weird that the guys call the teachers madam. it sounds like in some kinda military school or something. but the hostel canteen didn't have food so we like walked back to where we left our bags, retrieved it and walked out to the bus stop to get to KAP. managed to stop on the way to get m&ms from the vending machine cuz i was having gastric.

eli left after that! :( we had a hard time trying to hail a cab for her though but managed to after she and jocelyn stood at the road divider trying to hail on the other side. the rest of us went off to KAP for macs. was damn tired after that. felt like sleeping while eating my macs. the guys were like equally tired too until they went high. clement and thomas started to play those childhood clapping games. and the worst thing is they couldn't get it until joce and i showed them a few rounds. damn lame la, basically everyone was just damn tired after a while so we went off cuz think leonard had to leave to go home.

so that was my day. pretty long day and im beat. still hafta go sch tmr. rawrs! :(( okay im out. my eyes are shutting.

lectures was the worst thing in school today. it was either being bored listening to lectures, or being bored slacking in the canteen. okay basically i was bored, until..after school came! went up to the cafe to meet eli and cherilyn with some of eli's friends who were there as well. so sat around for a while then we headed back to SC to visit teachers. and we like walked the long way out of ac because dear cherilyn wanted to "reky" the backgate to see if she can sneak in/out next time! and it turns out we like walked one whole big round when we could have just exited at the front gate! so anyway we took a cab with one of eli's friends as well.

well walking through the gates of sc was like a very deja vu feeling! i miss everything about sc la. the food, the faces, the teachers, the building, the way it looks, and i realised although it isn't as big as ac, i think compared to ac it's much more nicely furnished! like sc just has this very homely feeling. haha so anyway met up with some juniors, and of course couldn't miss the yong tau fu with kangkong and chilli! omg i hven't eaten that in such a long time!! it tasted so heavenly! okay we were actually going back for meepok but turns out that the stall was closed! so anyway we sat around and talked about lame stuff. and it's nice getting to know people that were always in your level, but you never really laughed and talked with. ((:

far east was next. socks for 5 bucks. what a steal. and then off to buy my friend's present. i din know what to get so they suggested a deck of cards since my fren's from strategy club. hurhur. okay i bought something else in the end. haha.

okay im lazy to blog about the rest. but it was really quite hilarious at dingtaifung. the impromptu people and the "jia li you ji shi" (something cropped up at home). haha and the gelato!

okay im outt.

im currently looking for this song called when you tell me you love me by westlife and diana ross. it's a really sweet song so if anyone has it tell me okay!


and i really really hope you'll come back soon!

lectures yesterday was such a bore. most of the time was spent either day dreaming, or walking around the school exploring with tang and jiaa. joined elizabeth's og and some other people after school for subway at holland v though. the company was good. it's always nice getting to know new people. ((:

okay no plans for today yet. prob hh tonight. im outt.