oooh yayy i changed my layout! got so sick of the other onee! i think im getting better at this html thingy, thought i would take like hours to get everything configured but managed to do it quite fast! anyway exams have been quite screwed. i dun tink there's a paper that i can safely say i did alright for it! haha okay anyway one more paper to go, and then we'll have our freedom then! ((:

read me the story of O
and tell it like you still believe
that the end of century
brings a change for you and me.

im mesmerised by the song amie by damien rice. it's so depressing but yet so comforting at the same time. i dunno if you get me, but go listen to it anyway!

terms in less than 2 days time. and i dont like the feeling of taking exams. sitting in the hall of straight rows of chairs and tables, the eerie silence, the mad scribblings, the feeling of knowing that everyone else probably knows more about the topic than you do, and finally handing up the script, not knowing whether you've actually survived it. and then walking out, comparing answers, and (hopefully not) feeling shitty that you didn't get the same answer as everyone else. so tell me why im only waiting for it to pass quickly and i am not a bit anxious about things??

ahh i dunno. this hols has been not too bad, although exams were at the back of my mind nagging. but at least i could still go out on the pretext of study dates. after terms, and maybe then things will be better.

tution was such a bore today. while waiting for cheryl to come i had serious urge to eat chocolate so i went to seven eleven and bought hershey's and milky bar. and then when she finally arrived and we got to the tuition place, we saw liteng and lace outside laughing cuz they didn't know which room the tution was at. and then when tuition finally started, we were cooped up in this mini room that made you feel claustrophobic. halfway through tuition, cheryl and i just started to lose concentration and we started to lament about how our lives have changed and how some things are never the same again. most of the time people just don't see things the same way as you and you're left wondering if you're the one single weird soul who drifted from the mainstream. and it's little realisations like these that make you more aware of what your life is actually made up of.

becauseididn'tnoticethatthingswerejustglaringatme.andnowthatihavefinallyrealisedit,itaffectsagain.thenagainyourealisethatthereisnoexactsolutiontothis.onlysomethingyouhaftabearwith.
onlysomethingyouhavetobearwith.onlysomethingyoujusthaftabearwith.whetheryoulikeitornot.

stuck with mathhh. someone save me plsss! math is the easiest to score and yet i can't seem to get things right! omggggg!

again, i dunno where this line should go. to be understanding or openminded?

friday was a study day with cherylll boooo! it's been such a while since i hung out with her ever since the week before council camp! went over to her house to do math and go for math tuition aft tt but i ended up sleeping aft doing one question. haha okay im lazy to blog, i wanna talk on the phone.. haha okay go to here to read la. http://outgrownobsession.blogspot.com

i came to quite an important realisation today, well okay maybe not to you, but it is to me. and i guess.. i just wanted to tell you about it. but i kinda guessed perhaps it wasn't the right time cuz i know how you feel, and i don't blame you surprisingly, cuz i know how it's like to feel that way. so i guess i pretty much held back what i wanted to tell you. i'll save it for another day, maybe then you'd be more ready to accept it.

i guess you pretty much have a lot of things to hide. sometimes i still search for answers not because i still care that much about you, but more for curiosity's sake. but if denying things will make things a lot easier for you, then i guess as a friend i'll just hafta respect that. it has always been y0u who dictates how things turn out, and i used to be so affected by it. but this time round, i honestly cannot be bothered.

okay im so pissed with my mum again because i very kindly agreed to accompany her swim (even though im not so much of a swimming person and i AM very tired aft waking up at 6am to send my dad off to mexico at the airport) but after im energised and hyped up to go..she says she doesn't wanna go now, she wants to go in the afternoon! and i am quite tired of this whole spying thing that i was so amused when i was complaining to cheryl and she said this,

outgrownobsession says:
haha eh like your parents give birth to you all ahh to spy on you ahh

i thought that was very apt. okay so anyway today';s a bad day. it's gonna be another boring day spent at home with tons of boring little things to complete. grrr!

but at least ytd wasn't so bad! studying at coffee club was actually quite fun! hahaa!

oh and i was reading some sec3 sc girl's blog abt her and her bf and i realised that secondary schoool couples act spend money very unnecessarily, like cabbing here and there and on clothes and shoes and what not. hmm.

okay im off to shower now.

post camp days have been good so far. dinner buffet on saturday w grandparents, and she's the man movie on sunday. couldn't decide between watching the omen and she's the man. but after figuring out tt i was really quite freaked out aft watching the older version of omen in sec3, i decided maybe chic flicks would be a better choice. and guess what, she's the man was like a modern version of twelfth night. pretty cool stuff.

im so happy to be back, and talking to cheryl again. finally unleashed 5 days worth of things that i wanted to say but wasn't appropiate to be said.

i think some people just live in a disillusioned state as well. i don't get why, but i guess it's cuz they don't get enough attention and create things to make themselves feel better. o wells.

it's time to start mugging though. things need to speed up a little!

o yes and thank you for allowing me to be so honest. i think that's the best thing you could ever do.

yooohoooo!!! im backk from council camppp! it was so draining physically and mentally! but i guess i survived it so it ain't that bad. got to know many people as well, which was the greatest part of it, especially how everyone just stood by everyone and cheered each other on even though we din really know each other that well. so i guess it was all good. but i missed everything. home, my bed, friends, lazing around at home, and especially you. haha and i can't believe i missed miss ng minxin's bday! im so sorry dear! anyway here's a shoutout for youuu! ((:

my dear mox! happy belated bday! so sorry i missed your bday dinner! i hope your day was really fun filled and jolly!! thanks for always being here, even after we move on into jc! i know you always take the time and initiative to ask how i am doing in ac, and always making it a point to find time to meet up! and i think you're one of the rare ones who have seen me through my lowest and lousiest point last year and stood by me and didn't judge me! thanks so much for everything!! ((:

im off to camp, uhh starting from today until friday. i dunno what time i'll be back on friday, but hopefully i'll be dismissed early cuz i tink the camp's gonna be tough and im a loser for such physically breaking camps!

hi and i am new to this game. :/

i feel like i've wasted 2 weeks. alot more to study and now im worried. oh gosh. okay nvm no more outings when i get back from camp. haha!

well well this week has been much fun. late night talks and drinks with cheryl on sunday, shopping on monday, mos on tues and movie watching on wednesday. but the fun was kinda cut short there and now im like in exile (cause of certain unforseen circumstances and things that i dread doing) until terms officially end. i can hardly wait for that day! it's kinda dumb though, was waiting for the june hols, and then now it's taken up and now i hafta turn to wait for after terms to finally take a break! this is never ending!

i think i really miss those days.