all i have to say is, i guess we don't get everything we want in life. i wanted a whole list of people to stay in ac, but only some are, and more importantly, the one that made the most impact in my life is leaving. it really felt like a deja vu feeling, exactly how i felt when he left last year for the states. on both occasions, i felt like i should have said more, cuz i dunno when will be the next time i'll see you again. it's just this inherent fear of falling too fast, too hard that makes me wanna take a step back and leave.

sometimes i still find talking to you depressing. cuz den i hafta put on a really fake front that im totally alright with things when it's really hurting to know that you are halfway round the world and i feel us drifting by the days and months. will things remain this way or will it change when you come back? either way, this is gonna be hard to overcome.

on a lighter note, this is for cheryl! have faith and patience in Him! i trust that He will not forsake you and He definitely has a greater plan for you, just that maybe you can't see it yet. i'll be praying really hard for you so don't think so much and let go and leave everything to Him yeah. cheer up loads!!